


Puzzle.

by cobblestyles



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: (but honestly it's just mentioned), Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, this spoils everything but eehhhh that was expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 13:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11358225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobblestyles/pseuds/cobblestyles
Summary: 1. We can have sex sometimes, it's no big deal.2. We're just best friends.3. Don't fall in love.Phil is breaking the most important rule.





	Puzzle.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyy who missed me??? Ahem, anyway, I struggled so hard to write this one because inspiration left me somewhere BUT!! It's finally here. Thank you again so, so much for the kudos and the comments and everything <3
> 
> I don't own anything, obviously. But who doesn't need a little fluff?

Phil doesn’t even remember when he fell in love, exactly.

Maybe that one morning when Dan decided to make pancakes, humming to himself and swaying to whatever was playing in his head. Or maybe that time he had called Phil in a panic, begging him to free him from uni and they’d shared Dan’s tiny bed.

The point is, Phil is screwed. He doesn’t know the line between affection for your best friend and pure love. He guesses you can love your friends. Love can mean many different things. So it’s fine. Probably. It’s been years, he’s _cool_.

“Morning,” Dan slurs, taking a seat next to Phil on their shitty sofa. He’s barely awake, rubbing his eyes repeatedly and yawning every two seconds. 

And Phil looks at him, truly looks at him. His curly hair that he hasn’t bothered to straighten just yet, his dark eyes, his chapped lips, the dimple that appears whenever he smiles or talks animatedly. Dan looks back at him and his expression is so soft that Phil wants to cry. He’s desperately in love with his best friend. _Shit_.

 

“This is a complete disaster!” Phil is saying -shouting, really-, and Louise sighs patiently on the other end of the line. 

“Phil, _relax_. Tell me what’s wrong."

Phil takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with Dan.” 

It feels monumental. It feels like he’s on a precipice, or like the world is ending. There’s silence for a while, and Phil worries that Louise has hung up on him until he hears laughter. Louise _is laughing_.

“It’s not funny!” Phil says, failing to see how any of this could be amusing.

“I’m sorry,” Louise hiccups, “I thought you had some breaking news.” 

Phil squints and realises Louise can’t see him. “It is,” he insists, because maybe she thinks he’s joking. 

“Oh, honey. You really didn’t know before now?”

That makes Phil pause. Has he been so obvious? He wasn’t sure of it until now so how could Louise _know_? They don’t even see her that much. 

“Phil, breathe. Honestly, it was pretty obvious.” 

Well that’s that, then. “You should see the way you look at him,” Louise continues, and Phil thinks that he should be sitting down for this conversation. “Or the way you talk about him, like he’s something precious. I love you boys but Dan isn’t that sweet you know.” 

“He’s sweet to me,” Phil can’t help saying, and it’s _true_ . Dan’s got a hasty personality, the kind of person you instantly love or hate. Phil has seen the way Dan could be cold to some people, isolating himself and not even trying to make eye contact. How he could start an argument in a second, how easy it is to rile him up because he’ll take the bait, no matter what. Dan is brave in ways Phil can’t even begin to understand. He’s grown so much, gained confidence, isn’t so afraid to be who he is anymore. Dan is _kind_. 

“And he’s sweet to you!,” he adds, because again, it’s true. Louise is the kind of person you like instantly. Dan has always been comfortable around her.

“Look at you, defending your boyfriend,” she laughs, and Phil blushes. _Boyfriend_. He likes the sound of it. The front door opens and Dan is already grunting, so Phil bids his goodbye to Louise, promising to keep her updated at her request. 

“Fuck _me_ , it’s so hot outside,” Dan whines, almost ripping his sweater off. 

Phil agrees. Not about the heat, the other thing Dan said. Oh God, he’s got it _bad._

“Maybe if you didn’t wear all black, you wouldn’t complain so much.” 

Dan glares at him and Phil snickers. Like he said: easy to rile him up. 

“It’s my aesthetic, Phil, what choice do I have?”

“Dan Howell, dead because of a dumb fashion statement in the face of the sun.” 

Phil puts a hand over his heart, and Dan starts to smile, that soft smile that he seems to keep just for Phil. His stomach does a weird little somersault and it’s so ridiculous, how Dan makes him feel. How he completes him in so many ways and yet tears him apart. He thinks it’s quite poetic and he wants to share it with Dan but that would mean confessing feelings he’s buried deep within himself like the idiot he is, and _that won’t do_. 

“You’re a fucking moron” Dan says, but his eyes are kind. Dan is a goddamn softie, he just pretends not to be for the sake of his persona. Phil knows better and he smiles to himself, picking up the grocery bags that Dan unceremoniously left on his way. 

“I was about to put them away,” Dan says, but he doesn’t move from his spot on the sofa. 

“Sure you were,” and it’s so freaking domestic, Phil loves it.

 

* * *

 

 

So Phil is in love with Dan. It’s completely fine, right? _It’s the opposite of fine, you idiot_ , his brain supplies. Why didn’t he notice it before? And it’s not like they’ve never tried to be more than friends. That week Dan spent in his house while his parents were away had been fantastic. There were kisses and tentative touches, laughter and banter, a building friendship that promised so much more to come. Dan was so different back then. Phil is pretty sure he’d been willing to do whatever Phil asked him to do. Then they became best friends, and then they became flatmates and they both decided they didn’t want to ruin everything. Dan had told him how important it was to him, that he’d never had a best friend before, and Phil had understood perfectly. 

But then there were other times. Times neither of them talk about. Times when they’ve been drinking and wanting to let loose _just a little_ . Desperate kisses and desperate touches, Phil knowing Dan from the inside out _literally._ Phil sometimes thinks about those times when he’s lying in bed, and he wonders if Dan thinks about it too. They clearly enjoy having sex with each other, even though it’s been a while since they’ve done it. There’s some kind of itch under his skin when he looks at Dan, an urge to just grab him and never let go. That’s why he avoids too much eye contact when they’re filming. He’s sure their viewers would see it from a mile away. And isn’t that ironic, how people who don’t even know him, know _them_ , knew he loved Dan before he did. 

“Phil,” Dan suddenly appears in his room, and he’s wearing one of Phil’s hoodies. Phil _aches_. “I’m so nervous about the tour I feel like I’m gonna explode. Mind if I crash with you tonight?” 

He looks so young all of a sudden, and Phil moves in one swift motion to leave some room next to him. Dan smiles at him, a soft blinding smile that makes his heart beat just a little bit faster. They’ve shared Phil’s bed countless of times before, either falling asleep watching a show or an anime, or when their heat broke that one time and they had to squeeze together to keep warm, or just times when Dan couldn’t sleep and only felt at ease with Phil next to him. _“You’re next to me in life”_. And Dan just…..he cuddles into Phil. Tucks his face in his neck and just breathes. Phil is at a loss. Dan has never been the most affectionate person. He expresses himself in words, while Phil is all about gestures. Over the years though, Dan has started to touch him more. Bumping their shoulders together, grabbing his hands, invading his personal space during videos… Phis is overwhelmed by it all.

“Aren’t you nervous?” Dan asks after a few minutes, and his breath tickles his neck. Phil feels shivers all over his body.

 _I’m terrified_ , he wants to say, and not just about the tour. Because it’s one thing to realise you’re in love with your best friend, but another thing to actually _feel_ it. He holds Dan tighter, trying to convey how he feels into it and Dan relaxes in his arms. 

“Yeah,” he finally answers, and it’s true, touring is a scary thought, something they’ve never done, but he’s always felt like he could do anything as long as Dan was with him. What a very cliché and cheesy thing to say. Dan falls asleep not long after that, and Phil loves, and loves and loves.

 

* * *

 

 

The tour had been a blast. Visiting cities they’ve never had the chance to see before, meeting people and feeling the love they had to give. Phil is so thankful. He’s also very thankful to be home. Dan was dozing off in the taxi, his head on Phil’s shoulder, and Phil had to guide him through the stairs. He just wants to sleep for days, but he’s too excited for it, the adrenaline not quite leaving his body yet.

“Dan?”. A “hmm” in response, but Phil knows he’s listening. “Do you want to take a walk?” 

Dan grimaces, many conflicting emotions on his face. Disbelief. Curiosity. Exhaustion. Phil always loved how open Dan’s face is. 

“You fucking kidding me?” he settles on, squinting at Phil like he’s grown a second head. “We literally just landed. I could kill you.”

Phil smiles. “You can’t even stand by yourself. Come on, it’ll be fun!”

He knows he’s pushing, but he needs to be outside again, despite what they always claim. Dan lets out a long suffering sigh, and Phil knows he’s won. He grabs Dan’s arm, stepping out into their familiar noisy street, where everyone is probably sleeping. It’s close to 3am, but jet lag makes it difficult to care.

“Full offense,” Dan says, “but you’re insane. Our bed is calling me.”

He’s close to whining, but Phil focuses on _“our bed”_. He knows sleep deprivation always makes Dan confess his deepest thoughts, his brilliant mind working even faster than usual, so Phil tries not to let it get to him. The tour has, against all odds, brought them closer together. Phil didn’t know that was possible. And Dan is looking at him expectantly, all soft and sleepy, and Phil caves.

“Let’s go home” Phil agrees, and he laces their fingers together. What? Sleep deprivation.

 

* * *

 

The thing is, they made a promise back in 2009. They were attracted to each other, but as they became best friends, they both decided to not make things complicated. And when they moved in together, they didn’t want to ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to them. So they made the stupid promise not to fall in love with each other. They could have sex with each other but only when necessary, and not too often, and they weren’t exclusive. Phil has broken all of these rules. He doesn’t know where Dan stands, but he knows for a fact that he hasn’t been with anyone since. He’s not sure how no one pounces on Dan when they see him, but Phil is secretly glad they don’t. He’s seen Dan being flirted with, and Dan had been flattered but turned them down every time.

And now he’s pining. After his best friend. His life is just so great. They’re making dinner but Phil’s mind is elsewhere, aware of every little brush of hands, every glance. Dan is oblivious to it, singing a made up song about spaghetti and cheese, and Phil is falling deeper and deeper. Dan’s hair is starting to curl, and it’s so hard to resist. Dan is like, someone he would have made up in a lab. Like the universe is mocking him somehow. Dan is so…... _so_.

“Do I have sauce on my face?” Dan asks, and Phil startles. He’d been caught staring. _Well_.

“What? No,” Phil splutters, and he clears his throat, trying to be nonchalant. He probably fails. “I was lost in thoughts”. Technically true.

“Hmm” Dan isn’t convinced, but that’s alright. He resumes his cooking, and Phil isn’t helping at all. They’ve practiced that dance many, many times. 

“You’re still staring, you weirdo,” Dan says, a smirk playing on his face. “Phil, if you want to tell me something, just do it. Unless you’re planning to move out, it should be fine.” 

Phil has to say it. He _has_ to. “I love you.”

And the world isn’t ending, but it’s a close call. Dan drops the knife he’d been holding (a little dangerous, all things considered), his eyes wide and his mouth open. Phil is ready for the rejection. Maybe _Dan_ will move out. He’s ruined everything, and he’s the worst friend in the world right now, and he’s expecting _anything_ \-- 

“You motherfucker,” Dan finally says, and well...Phil wasn’t expecting _that_. 

“Excuse me?,” he manages to get out, but Dan is already pacing in the kitchen, messing up his hair even more. He’s frantic, and Phil wonders if he’s about to have a panic attack over this. 

“You fucking….Do you know _how long_? How long I’ve been waiting...I just…” 

Dan is rambling a mile a minute, and Phil doesn’t know what to do but he thinks he gets it. Sort of. They’ve got that psychic connection or whatever.

“I love you,” he repeats, just to make sure. Dan stops pacing, and his chest is heaving. There’s something like hope in his eyes that Phil hadn’t noticed before.

“I’m sorry,” he continues, because he wants Dan to _understand_ , “I tried so hard not to, like we promised. I was never really good at following the rules, though.”. He chuckles, but Dan looks dead serious. “You can be mad at me if you want, that won’t change how I feel.”

Phil needs to lie down, or just disappear for a little while. Dan is intensely looking at him, and Phil fidgets under his stare. 

“Are you _Brokeback Mountain_ -ing me?” Dan asks, and Phil widens his eyes as well. That was not how he thought confessing his love would go. “Phil, you’re an idiot sandwich, for real.” 

And then Dan is crowding closer and closer until they’re face to face, and Phil can’t breathe properly. Dan is so beautiful, and if this ends now then so be it.

“You love me. You’re in love with me?” 

Why is Dan asking this? Isn’t it obvious? Does he want him to suffer?

“Dan. You know I am.”

Dan nods. Phil is starting to lose patience. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he asks, and there’s sadness in his eyes and _no_. Dan should never be sad. 

“Because of that stupid promise!”. Phil is screaming now, and he never does. He probably sounds silly. “We said we wouldn’t complicate things between us. That we wouldn’t…”

“Fall in love?” Dan finishes, looking straight into Phil’s eyes. “Yeah, I remember. Blew that one, uh?”

Phil gulps. “What?”

“That was the stupidest thing of my entire life,” Dan continues, growing impossibly closer, “because I was already in love with you, although I wasn’t sure. And then we moved in together and I thought, _we_ thought, it’d be easier. And look at us now.”

Dan is laughing. That loud, obnoxious laugh that Phil loves so much. He may be biased because he loves every single thing about Dan, but still. It’s a nice laugh.

“Dan….Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Phil needs to _know_. Dan tilts his head, scoffing. Which, rude. “You are so daft. Yes, you moron, I love you.”

That’s the only confirmation he needs before Phil surges forward and kisses the hell out of Dan, like he’s been dying to for months. Or years. And he’s kissed Dan before, but this time there isn’t a part of him that says he shouldn’t get used to it, because Dan is giving back as good as he gets, and they shouldn’t be having sex on their kitchen counter. Or maybe they could…

“Shit fuck,” Dan says, ever the eloquent one, “my food is burnt now.”

Phil laughs into the next kiss because who cares about _food_ when the puzzle you’ve been working on for years is finally complete. They break apart for air, Dan leaning into him, and it’s so familiar already, and they’re stupid.

“We’re two idiots in love,” he says, closing his eyes. He never wants to forget that feeling.

 

* * *

 

 

Moving into a new place was always stressful for Phil, but not this time. He’ll miss their flat, but until an actual house, this new one will do just fine. He glances at Dan who’s currently trying to arrange their DVD collection, and he suddenly sees a future with a dog and maybe kids running around, a ring on his finger. He embraces Dan from behind, his lips gently caressing his neck, and Dan exhales, leaning further into him.

“What’s gotten into you?” Dan asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I just love you a lot.” Phil answers, and it's so simple. 

He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop feeling so much. Promises are made to be broken sometimes, if the result is worth it. Dan turns around, and Phil kisses his dimple, his right hand tangling in his curls. Dan chases his lips, and Phil loves, and loves, and loves.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as well ! same username aka cobblestyles.tumblr.com ;))


End file.
